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Re: coping with the fact that lifes not much fun

Posted by Brenda on June 9, 2000, at 18:24:54

In reply to coping with the fact that lifes not much fun, posted by si on June 4, 2000, at 7:03:25

> sorry to sound like im looking for an excuse to not facing up to life, but whats left. i have been away from heroin/alcohol for one whole week, on a naltrexone implant program. at the moment i am still on barbituates, and benzodiazapines, and seem to just look foward to the nightime. im frightened the nightimes are going to get earlier.fortunately i am monitored by parents, so i cant abuse the barbs.i have heard about trazolon? to help with reality. otherwise, its back to pink floyd

si,
I think what everybody wrote to you is on the money. You're right - life sucks when you can't get high. I quit alcohol, speed, and pot all at the same time. Unfortunately for me, back then nobody was treating with antidepressants. It was soooo hard to quit. I didn't know anybody who was sober or not snorting or smoking. The first thing I did to protect myself was to tell everyone of my family and friends I quit. My real friends stuck by me, the other ones just drifted away. My friends still drank, but they encouraged me to stay sober, even though they didn't understand. I couldn't sleep for weeks. The nightmares were awful. I couldn't work, couldn't stop crying. I wanted to die. AA helped, so did writing. So did taking walks. It's been almost twenty years for me and I still crave being high. Not all the time, but when I don't take care of my depression, monitor my stress and frustration, it comes flying in my face. During times of extreme stress I'll still dream that I'm using. Thing is - as long as I don't my life is good. Life isn't all a lot of fun period. It's those moments of peace that pass all understanding that keep me going. The humor you find in the weirdest places, the kind that sneaks up on you - that keeps me going. My son, husband, dogs, garden, simple stuff.
I'll be thinking about you. Please write and let us know how you are. Be well, Brenda


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