Posted by Sal on June 1, 2000, at 21:50:47
In reply to I am having a life-ache...can you relate? (long) , posted by me-but-not-me on May 31, 2000, at 20:48:13
Sounds like you need help cleaning house!
I'm no stranger to squallar - I've lived in several tiny travel trailers, tents, abandoned houses, college-town dives, etc. One of my longest-term "homes" was an abandonded barn - or what was left of it. In the far northern latitudes, to boot. At least the roof didn't leak so much when it was below zero - it got icicles though. Lived under the open sky sometimes, too.
Moving has helped me clean out things sometimes. My current apartment is one of the best ever (accept the barn - that felt like home to me, bats, skunks, cat poop and all). I never got on any meds accept the ones I got, well, you know - the kind you get on the street. I'm sure I've been called every disorder in the book, behind my back. Anyway, things eventually turned up. I still isolate somewhat, but that's okay with me. Its sort of spiritual, if you can see it that way. I have a steady job and no one complains about the way I bend my schedule. I guess I'm doing okay at work. But, about you ....
A friend who was in the mental health system had a case worker who came to make sure his home was liveable. I wonder if you have a county health nurse. This is not advise - a public nurse might condemn your home and get you committed, and then you might loose your cats. But its a thought. Some towns have pretty good mental health networks but others are about as squalid as you describe your house. Some county nurses have a heart and some have a rock in the middle of their chest.
You might consider applying for a disability. Trouble with that is, sometimes you have to be out of work for a period of time before they will consider you. And how can you survive until you get disability? It is sometimes retroactive - you might get a big lump payment at first, and public insurance to cover meds. I don't know if working half-time counts or not. It probably depends on the doctor who would assess you and the social security people who would review your application. But if you know where your nearest social security office is located, you can walk in an get the ball rolling there.
Another option might be to ask a benevolent stranger for help. Your post here seemed like evidence you can effectively convince people of your legitimate needs. The trick is identifying who in your community might help. Being compliant on the meds is a step. People often say someone needs medical help, but if your already doing that, they might be more willing to help fill in the gaps. I would look around to see of their is some sort of voluntary action agency in your area. If not that, maybe a food pantry. Or maybe your neighborhood meals on wheels group, if there is one. If not that, I would look at churches, temples, mosques or synaguoges. The trick is to find a group of people that look genuinely helpful. That can be frustrating if there aren't any, but it is better to lurk about and size up people rather than wasting your energy begging from deadbeats.
If you find someone - say there is a food pantry - don't just walk in and ask the first worker. Identify the manager or a leader and ask them for a private conversation. Tell them all what you said here, and then say you need help getting your house in order. The same thing might work with a minister at some church or the other - maybe they can get some teenagers to volunteer to help you. You never know who is liable to be genuinely charitable. Fundamentalists sometimes help because they want to save your soul. Catholics have a long tradition of community work in some areas. Episcipalian, or Lutherans can be helpful. Baptists, methodists - it just depends on the church - I would look toward one that has a balance of young and old, married and single members.
I knew an old farmer once. He would give you the shirt off his back. His wife died and after that, the junk mail and animal dung just piled up in his house. He just kept giving money and stuff to people, and tending his cows, but his house was squalid as all getout. I tried to clean up most of the junk mail, but he said it protected the floors from the dogs and cats. Beneath all that junk was his late wife's nic-nacs and her kitchen was still fully stocked with all that crystal and other neat stuff farmwives acumulate.
Well, that's my thoughts. good luck. hey - my life still aches, but my kitchen works again.
poster:Sal
thread:35441
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35605.html