Posted by Sara T on June 1, 2000, at 13:59:23
In reply to How to cope with a sudden low, posted by Louisa on May 31, 2000, at 14:03:18
> I've been doing really well the past few months --Paxil 40mg at night, and Wellbutrin SR15omg in the morning. I've been working nonstop on my dissertation, and feeling confident about finishing and confident about the quality of my work.
>
> And then came yesterday. I got a chapter back from my advisor, who trashed it. Badly organized... too much stuff I didn't need... too much stuff I didn't have... A month of work down the drain, and not a lot of time left (for various reasons, I MUST finish by the beginning of September).
>
> And today, I feel SO LOW. I can't even smile. I keep wanting to drop the whole dissertation, but then I don't have a career, and I'd be so ashamed that I just can't imagine living. I don't feel actively suicidal, but I do feel like I wish a bus would just take me out.
>
> If I'm going to feel like this everytime I hand in another chapter, or get a bad review, there's not much point in my going on.
>
> Anyone have any suggestions about how to cope with something like this? I really don't think it's a meds question, because everything was working fine until 10:30 a.m. yesterday, when I got the chapter back. And now I feel like hell.
>
> LouisaLouisa,
I have been through Art School and Architecture School, and at both places you put your work up for formal critiques from your faculty quite often. They trash you publicly after you've been up 3 nights straight trying to finish your project. It was devastating to me. But finally I learned the difference between constructive criticism that you can learn from and destructive criticism which is mostly mean to serve someone else's agenda or ego. I had to learn to DEPERSONALIZE the criticism (not easy). I agree with the suggestion to put the dissertation down for a day and switch gears, take a breather, then go back and look at the remarks with some distance and see if there is something to be learned there, or if he's just serving his own ends. In the end, however you handle the dissertation vis-a-vis the advisor's personality, if you can learn to de-personalize it and put a distance there, you will not jeopardise your own self worth.
Feel better soon,
Sara T.
poster:Sara T
thread:35390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35545.html