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Butting in--Re: EXPLORING NEW TERRORTORY

Posted by Lurker on May 31, 2000, at 17:10:05

In reply to Re: EXPLORING NEW TERRORTORY, posted by AndrewB on May 31, 2000, at 13:07:14

I'm new here but I have suffered from panic attacks since I was twelve. I've been on lots of different herbal stuff and even holistic and alternative meds. The only thing that helped was leaving my old job. The panic attacks went away completely so take heart--maybe you are going in the right direction by leaving. Just an opinion.>
> Shar,
>
> I hope I am not responding too late. I’ve been fired before....more than once. One time I was fired off a fishing boat. They didn’t even drop me off at a dock. The tide was out and they dropped me off in shallow water at the edge of some wide mud flats. I had to ‘slurp’ through the mud to get to shore. At that very moment, I felt like the lowest creature ever conceived on this earth. In fact, every time I’ve been fired I’ve felt like an utterly worthless outcast. You see, I’ve given the bosses I’ve had the power to pass judgment on my worth. People, like me, who don’t believe in themselves, who don’t have healthy self esteem, look outside themselves for validation. No job however, no amount of approval that you get from others, can replace a healthy belief you have in your basic value as a human being. And until a person stops looking outside for approval, they will be on an emotional roller coaster. Negative remarks people make about you, cut deeper and hurt longer, if you depend on others for validation. And being fired is the worst, because an authority figure has judged you to be unfit. It is emotionally crushing.
>
> Don’t let others hurt you like this. This kind of thinking, of course, is just nonsense that echoes in one’s head, driving one to the depths of self reproach and fearfulness. Remember, jobs come and go, but we remain as human beings; vital, able to make a difference in the lives of others, imbued with inherent value. Most of the time people are fired because their skills or personality don’t match the skills or personality that the boss is looking for. We should look for jobs that are the right fit for us. Be realistic, nobody has the skills to do everything well or the skills that will appreciated by every boss. Conversely, basically everyone has certain things that they are good at doing. In reality, if you desire to work, it is not a question of whether you are a good or bad worker but whether the job is a good or bad fit. Believe me, there is a job and boss out there that is right for you, but what is really important, what you really need to ask yourself is whether you are going to be believe in yourself even as you go through the setbacks that we must all at time go through.
>
> Beyond this, I have three other pieces of advice:
>
> 1) Unless you are assured by this company that they will recommend you to others, get fired. This way you can collect unemployment. There is little difference in the eyes of your future employers between the person who gets fired and the person who quits in unfavorable circumstances.
>
> 2) Ask your psychiatrist whether you are taking the optimal medication for your (social) anxiety.
>
> 3) It is natural to feel hurt by being fired. It helps in getting over the hurt to let your pain out. Tell your friends how hurt you are, anybody who will listen. Rent a sad movie and cry over the hurt. Put on a favorite CD and sing, wail and scream out the hurt.
>
> 4) Before you start looking for another job, go do something for yourself; something you can feel good about yourself doing, something that can get your head away from all this stupid job stuff. Go visit a friend, take a road trip, do a hobby project, take a long hike, anything that will improve your frame of mind and help put this nastiness in the rear view mirror.
>
> Best of luck, I’m wishing you a speedy recovery.
>
> AndrewB


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

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