Posted by SLS on May 28, 2000, at 9:06:41
In reply to Re: ECT---Scott, posted by medlib on May 27, 2000, at 16:17:32
> > I had never considered that there might be experts in ECT as there are in pharmacology. This offers me a fresh perspective on an old idea. This morning, I tried to imagine myself going through another course of treatments. I cringed.
> > Because treatment-resistance to medication still seems to indicate a reduced chance of responding to ECT, I am reluctant to look into it again.
> Scott, I would go with your gut on this one. It may be "new and improved," but I'd try everything else out there before revisiting what you didn't like the first time. In your shoes, I believe I'd give Dr. Jensen a try, and investigate vagal nerve stimulation first. Of course, you realize I really can't be objective on this one (or especially knowledgeable, either).
> > I would really appreciate any input you can offer me.
> It feels great to be appreciated; sorry I couldn't be more helpful this time. I always read your posts (barring computer or medical disasters); you ask incisive questions and provide thorough, helpful information.
> BTW, thought I'm flattered to be mistaken for one, I'm not really a psychopharm geek like Cam, Peter, JohnL, Andrew, et al. I just have an "ear" for the argot, a love of research, and some expertise in (and passion for) searching. I can understand, but I can't produce at that level. I'm grateful to have access to their and your knowledge.
> I look to you as a role model for persistence and self education. Hope those good efforts pay off--soon; you have a lot to offer.
> A life-long double dysthmic who's getting very tired of the struggle---medlib
Dear Medlib,Thanks for replying to my questions and offering such sound advice. I am grateful to you for reinforcing in words what my "gut" has been telling me.
I also appreciate your perspective on the replies given to me by Max Fink. I tend to be naive and trusting - especially of doctors operating at the forefront of a particular field. You have not converted me into a cynic, so don't worry. But I see that there may be such a thing as "healthy cynicism". No. On second thought, I still believe that this is an oxymoron. I deem what you display to be more like the wisdom of a balanced interpretation of things based upon experience and the knowledge gleaned from it. Thanks. I remain cynical of cynicism (it's really not healthy).
I also want to tearfully thank you for the recognition and acknowledgment of how excruciatingly difficult things are for me. There is no way that I was able to read more than a paragraph of the articles you directed Dave to. I have become adept at skimming through abstracts and focusing on summaries, along with salient details when I find it necessary. With some effort, I can read a few paragraphs of the posts here (all of the words), whereafter, I am drained of mental energy and must take some time off by staring into space. I am lucky to be able to do this, as the drug Lamictal gives me about a 10 percent improvement. Otherwise, I am limited to a few sentences. Actually, I wouldn't be here at Babble without it. This has been going on for about 20 years.
I wish this were an exaggeration produced by an individual in need of recognition by others of his troubles and a vidication of his failures.
I think what continues to drive me to research things is not so much to search for a cure for my illness, although that is a prime motivation, but a voracious hunger for knowledge and understanding. Another passion that drives me to research medical issues is my desire to cure everyone in the world of their illnesses. My greatest loss in life is that *my* illness has prevented me from doing so.
As far as what it is that keeps me alive - well, that's another story, albeit a short and simple one. I think I managed to summarize it in a previous post using four sentences.
Thanks for your kind and compassionate words.
I hope you are able to find an answer to your dysthymia. We both know how particularly stubborn this condition can be.
Was your use of the term "double dysthymia" an errant description of "double depression"? If so, are you currently suffering a major depressive episode?
Just to set things straight - It is much easier for me to regurgitate stuff I already know than it is to pound-in stuff I don't know through the limited access of a brick wall. For every paragraph I manage to read, I can write ten.
I do apologize for the babble, but I don't believe I have had (or made) the opportunity to relieve myself by venting this much. Of course, there is a tiny bit more. :-) :-(
Thanks again, Medlib. Please keep contributing. You make a difference.
Sincerly,
Scott
poster:SLS
thread:33082
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/34953.html