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Re: Breaking through the trauma - to Tom

Posted by Cindy W on May 17, 2000, at 21:44:59

In reply to Re: Breaking through the trauma - to Greg, posted by Tom on May 17, 2000, at 21:04:40

> > Tom,
> > Before I give a reply, I'd like to ask a question... Do you remember what your relationship with your Dad was like when you were 7? Good, bad, none of the above?
>
> Greg,
>
> My father was the most important person in my life. I can't begin to explain how much I loved him... Anyway, after about the age of 9 I couldn't remember a thing about my father, even though it had only been two short years after he died. All the memories I have about him now have come back in the last 3 1/2 years. My father and I were extremely close. I was raised in a very ethnic (Greek) family. The one thing about Greek men is that they are all very stoic. So that's the route I took; I wasn't going to be hurt by his death even though it overwhelmed me. As I've recently learned that is a recipe for disaster for a young boy with a developing mind...
>
> Tom
Tom, I had a "breakthrough" when I was first in therapy, at age 2l in college. Back then, I used to never smile (to hide my overlapping front teeth; now capped) and let my hair cover my face, and almost had panic attacks around people (e.g., in line at the grocery, felt everyone was staring at me because I was ugly; crawled under a table once in a class to "hide"). The breakthrough was that my therapist asked me to check out whether people were looking at me, or whether they were just doing their own thing and not really even looking at me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were not even paying any attention to me. That was the start of realizing that other people weren't so bad (despite what I learned in my family home). Without that breakthrough, I think I would have ended up schizophrenic or something. Am waiting for a "breakthrough" in my current therapy; don't know what this will entail, yet.--Cindy W


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poster:Cindy W thread:33774
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/33839.html