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Self-destructing again?

Posted by voni on May 17, 2000, at 12:51:22

I am in a new relationship now. I made the desicion to stay here in Tx and not follow my mother to Baja California, this is the first time that I stay for a man see my familly moves around alot and I have always found it easy to leave a relationship no matter how long into it I had been. Well this time I am still not sure that I want this man to be that one for ever but I have 2 daughters and I am oviouslly a single parent to top it off I am 27 years old. I do suffer from depression and I have some real bad axiety attacks so bad that I hyper venilate, I am currently on Paxil and another deppressant that helps me sleep. Because of this disorder I find myself only wanting to be by my mothers side I feel like this little girl that is lost. My oldest daughter is 10 going on 11 thids Aug. I had her when I was 15 she looks like my little sister and sometimes acts like my mother, My baby is 7 and she is just a baby, she needs me and she is the reason why I keep going. My new boyfriend is a 34 yearsold man and he is so good to me, he is patient and is always making sure that I take my meds' he takes the kids off my hands when he sees that I am having one of my spazms...I have only known this beautiful stranger for like 5 months and he begged me to stay and give us a chnace at a new begining he is very responsible family oriented, he has his occasional drinks but is a wonderful father. So know I ask you did I make the right desicion? I mean I am origionally from L.A moved here to Tx to be cloose to MOM now that she s gone I stood for him very unsurely of my desicion I find that every day is an easier task.I am so use to the social scene and I really miss all of my frineds and especially my mom. Am I heading for a down fall? am I fooling myself? so I ask stroke of luck or gift from God?
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