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Re: There are no accidents! (except bedweting)

Posted by boB on April 24, 2000, at 2:58:32

In reply to There are no accidents!, posted by Todd on April 24, 2000, at 1:08:39

Todd, et al,

I can't believe they are still talking about my posts after all these years. (LOL)

Actually, on another site, under other pseuodonym, I was accused of reductionism! Ha!

Anyway, your synopsis of the chakra system is an accurate representation of a major Easter pattern of belief. I understood better than ever, reading your brief synopsis, the truth represented in that system. Likewise, your representation of Western psychology as relates to the development of the inner child represents truths I eventually confronted, sometime in my 30s.

As i understand it, humans basically confabulate. Reason and logic are our secondary method of thought. Systems of belief bridge our confabulation to, hopefully, provide a reasonably accurate inner representation of reality.

(nice rambling unfocused post, eh?)

My mother tried to kill me. Blew out the pilot lights on the stove once, and tried to steer our family car off a bridge another time. Bless her ADD heart. She is still somewhat overdriven in her conversation style. But as we approach the sunset of her golden years, the last thing I want to do is to cloud those days with memories of her abusiveness. She tried so hard, and even her most painful outbursts were driven by her desire to see me fulfill her best expectations, no matter how wrong they were. I sympathize with the one who spoke here of their mother's suicide attempt and five minutes later regretted the posting. Technology is growing fast. I can see my mother laying in her nursing home bed, (20 years from now, I hope, NOT NOW, PLEASE GOD!) using some advanced handheld WebTV system to review and zoom in on the most intimate moments I shared with whoever wants to log on to psychobabble. My defense will be that it was for the greater good, and that my public discussion was an effort to build an understanding that will outlast our brief lifetimes.

Anyway, if I have a point on this post, it is the love that drove my family, even in their darkest moments. In examining our childhood to find the hurt, we can sometimes find shadows of love, and a yearning for life obscured by the clouds of guilt, depression and desire. I am a dark soul, unafraid to admit the pervasive unavoidable depth of human inadequacy. But in our efforts at self discovery, I know we often focus on the darkness in an effort to avoid the eye-watering blinding light that turns total darkness into a drab shadowy grey.




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