Posted by M on April 4, 2000, at 14:53:43
In reply to Re: Trazadone stimulating?!, posted by Sherry on April 4, 2000, at 13:20:27
We all need to unload from time to time. Been there myself a time or two(see "Wallowing" post.)
I'm glad to hear you called your pdoc and hope he returns your call soon. Perhaps once you've related everything you've said here, he will have a better understanding of what meds might be helpful to you.
I wish you the best of luck.> I really didn't mean to unload on you, but it helps so much just to tell somebody. Most of the time I keep how I'm feeling bottled up inside until I feel as if I might explode. I am trying to hold on to hope. CAlled my pdoc, and he is supposed to get back to me. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. They mean so much to me coming from someone that knows first hand what I'm dealing with.
>
> > Absolutely, positively, there ARE meds out there that can make you feel much, much better. Others on this board, I am sure, can vouch for this as well. The key is finding the right drug or combination of drugs for YOU, and that can take a lot of time, patience, and tenacity.
> >
> > You didn't mention which drug you're taking or how long you've been taking it but it seems to me that if you've given it sufficient time (6 weeks or so) and symptoms have only gotten worse, it's time to try something else.
> >
> > What you're feeling right now is typical of major depression and very treatable with the proper care. I would strongly suggest that you call your doctor today and tell him exactly how you're feeling, just as clearly and honestly as you have here. I'm he/she would want to know and, in fact, NEEDS to know in order to help you through this.
> >
> > As everyone here can attest, this is not an easy road, and there's no magical fix. It takes a lot of work on the part of both you and your doctor (a good support system helps, too.) What's important for you to remember, even if you don't really believe it,is that the desperation you're feeling now is NOT a forever thing...the hopelessness will disappear and your children will have their mommy back. Most importantly, however, you'll have your life back.
> >
> > Oh, and Sherry...when you're feeling worthless, feeling guilty for not being the sort of wife and mother you feel you should be, and think your family might be better off without you, think about this instead: you are the only mother these children will ever have. No other person is capable of loving them as you do, just as they are not capable of ever loving another "mother" as they do you. If they live to be 100, they'll never understand why or how you could leave them and will shoulder the blame themselves. If you doubt it, talk to a few adults whose parents committed suicide, or a few widowers who have spent a lifetime trying to help the kids make sense of it all.
> >
> > Believe me, I understand the desperation and hopelessness. Sometimes it even physically hurts. But somewhere deep inside there's always the teeniest glimmer of hope. Find it and cling to it.
> >
> > Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > You mean there are medications that can actually make you feel that much better. I am having one helluva a time with the medication I'm currently taking because I think it is actually making my depression worse. I thought I was going to choke on the pain I was feeling this morning it was so intense. I cried, screamed, ranted and raved, and now I just feel completely numb. This is not like me as I just exist most of the time with no emotions. I am fast losing hope that I will ever find anything that will work for me. I so need to get well, if not for my sake, the sake of my children. I feel so guilty because I am not the nurturing mother they need and deserve. As I am writing this, another crying jag is coming on. I often wonder if they wouldn't just be better off without me. That way maybe my husband could find someone that could do all the things that need to be done and love my children. I am as about as worthless a human being as there is on the planet right now. I am sorry to vent this way in your thread, but I could not believe that anyone could have this kind of response to a medication. I hope you find yourself again.
poster:M
thread:28737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000401/msgs/28854.html