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Re: Reoccuring Dreams ... guilt and shame

Posted by dj on February 19, 2000, at 1:12:04

In reply to Re: Reoccuring Dreams ... guilt and shame, posted by Janice on February 18, 2000, at 15:58:25

Janice,

Distorted thinking, obssession, guilt and so on are all hallmarks of depression and chances are their may be a bit of perfectionism in your thought patterns. Research studies (including one I participated in at UBC) show strong links between perfectionism and anxiety and depression. Perfectionism, as in ridiculously high and unachievable expectations of yourself. As tough as it may be being human means having to let go of expectations - the good, the bad and the ugly -- to truly be healthy, or so the buddha taught. Simple but not easy.

As far as being depressed, I'm not. Just a little sad at times. However, again taking J&B's teachings (by example) and those of others to heart as I re-learn to express my full range of emotions in a timely and appropriate manner and to forgive myself when I don't, that has a healing capacity. First I needed to get myself to that place of health where I could maintain and build upon that hard-earned resilience. And that's exactly what I've been doing, in many ways.

As for JMK's quote I see it as a what, me worry comment. As a P.McShane, a former lapsed-Jesuit, Irish philosophy teacher used to exclaim in his eloquent brogue to my Reason and Argumentation class at Mount Saint Vincent U.:"If you've got a problem check to see that it's not just a twist in your knickers (or bra-strap)". Truly a wise man!!

BTW, buddhists like cogntivie scientists believe that your feelings are based on what you are telling yourself at some level and that meditation can help you detach you from the rage of your e-motions while experiencing them fully.

>These feelings are about not living up to my own standards. Especially since my horse completely relied on me for her life.
>
> Somehow, I think I am comparing myself to the people that abused me.

> You all sound far too clever to be depressed!
>
> and dj, "In the long run, we are all dead." this could be the depressed persons motto! Janice


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