Posted by Plum on January 12, 2000, at 16:09:25
In reply to plum's pain, posted by juniper on January 12, 2000, at 13:38:22
Thanks for your kind reply and good suggestions. I dont really think I am reclusive--I go for a walk every day--usually with one friend or another. I have a group of loving and loyal friends who see to it that I get out or have someone in pretty well every day. My therapy is going well, s far as the depression is concerned. And yes, the constant unremitting pain IS a large factor in the depression. I think almost anyone sentenced to sleep no more than an hour or so at a time for 5 years--without one single night of respite, is going to get clinically depressed--just from sleep deprivation.
But knowing all that doesn't make the actual experience of depression any different. Left to my own devices I probably WOULD become a recluse.
I feel better today than yeserday--I know the kind letters on this site have helped--and I'm not considered self amputation anymore (today. The nights are the worst. Does anyone know--is there such a thing as getting a nerve permanently deadened? Maybe I could get it completely severed and then it wouldn't hurt anymore? I know that I would lose the use of that half of my hand completely and permanently but that would be okay. How would I go about finding out whether or not that could be done?
I don't think my doctor even wants to see me any more. Oh that's probably not really true--I think he feels sorry for me, but frustrated? Maybe he wishes I would just go away? I can't type too much--one handed--and I'm just babbling anyway.