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Re: Depression and Relationships- to Adam

Posted by Adam on January 10, 2000, at 19:07:12

In reply to Re: Depression and Relationships- to Adam, posted by Nancy on January 7, 2000, at 22:56:13

No apologies needed (re: rambling). I am probably about ten years older than you are and it's been barely a year that I've had anywhere near the healthy perspective towards relationships that you clearly display. I'll wish you luck, but you probably don't need it. Rather, I would say, trust your instincts, and honor the right people with your intimate thoughts. I think you will know when you meet someone worthy of the test.
> Hi Adam,
> Well, unfortunately, I do not have too much of an update for you. I have not been back to school yet, so I haven't seen him to have this conversation that I have been planning 1,000 times in my head (thanks to encouragement from all of you!). I am a bit discouraged, though, because I talked to him on the phone once, about a week ago because we are home from school on break (we're from different towns) and the conversation did not have a good feeling to it, and I will have to see

how things go when I get back to school. But, on a brighter note, I have been going to therapy to try and resolve some of my anger towards my mother and I have discovered so much about myself, and I feel like I am really meeting myself for the first time. So as a result of this, I am really discovering who I am and what I want, and if a relationship with this boy does not feel right when I return, I am going to go with my instincts. But your post and advice (and everyone elses!) has been so inspirational for me that I feel like I am ready for the first time ever to enter a relationship with total honesty. So I thank you for your help and concern.......sorry to ramble on and on, but that is the update for now. I will keep you posted. Take care.
> Nancy
> > Hey, Nancy,
> >
> > How are things? I don't want to gush too much here, but I am having a difficult time believing what a positive thing my being totally honest with this new person in my life has been. As much as I have advocated to others the need to disclose when things get serious (based largely on my own bad experiences due to putting it off), I did not imagine in my wildest dreams how much caring and acceptance I could recieve from someone despite all my skeletons (and they are many, I'm afraid).
> >
> > If I had to get dumped or blown off 100 times to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, it would be worth it, knowing what I know now. Somehow, despite myself, I have managed to meet a wonderful person, and the feeling that I can tell her anything and visa-versa has made me as happy as I have ever been, I think. There is no substitute for this. Real intimacy.
> >
> > Oh, my word, I'm in love big time. To whoever: Please, please, please trust me on this one: The truth is your friend. I admit fully that during the worst times of my depression I lacked the strength or the insight to always follow such advice, and I was certainly a bit immature anyway. Nothing less than hard and I daresay tragic lessons have brought me this far. If this all seems obvious, please forgive my revelatory tone; it was not always so to me. And if saying something might help one person avoid half the damage I did to myself I'd shout it from the rooftops at this point.
> >
> > > > Nancy,
> > > >
> > > > It sounds like you are doing really well! You seem to have a very healthy and positive outlook on things, and that is definitely the key. Congrats about the new conclusions you have come to. Hope your Christmas Day is going excellent! :)
> > > >
> > > > --Alice
> > >
> > > Thanks Alice, and I will keep you updated!
> > >
> > > Merry Christmas!
> > >
> > > Nancy




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