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Re: Anxiety Medicines: Which One?

Posted by Canadian Michele on December 26, 1999, at 16:04:00

In reply to Re: Anxiety Medicines: Which One?, posted by Bob on December 24, 1999, at 21:19:28

> I'm no fan of SSRIs, but I have to admit that when zoloft worked for me, it managed my OCD-like tendencies beautifully (well, even when it didn't do a damn thing else, it ALWAYS did this). Whe it worked, it also tended to leave me more assertive, more confident, and more at ease in social situations.
> Clonazepam (generic Klonopin) has worked wonders for me in terms of anxiety.
> My two cents--your mileage may vary.
> bob

Dear Bob,

I have been on every SSRI and also have to admit that the OCD stuff went away, but all the bloody side effects: anorgasmic, memory loss, I was very hyper on Zoloft - they are a roller coaster - the SSRI's promise so much and then "hey, I forgot to tell you there is this little side effect thing", ya know!! I spent 2 years working through the whole gamit of SSRI's but my GP was doing the guidance and I think, (bless him, he is a sweetie) was over his head. I have since moved on to a female psych who is considered the best in our area and she is a special medical professional - I do the research on drugs or whatever treatment - we discuss - she offers advice and support and I chose. I am just not too sure how much experience she has had with combining medications for GAD/Depression/Social Phobia, which is my corner. She is open and I have given her this web site address and I hope she checks in. At any rate I just received a printout from her in the mail (my work sched makes it real difficult to set up appointment on a regular basis so we often fax or in this case she mailed to me an outline from the University of Saskatchewan, Can. on treatment of anxiety disorders with an obvious bias on CBT. This paper is a real 'party line' type document. I know there are progressive people around but how to make physical contact is another thing. Living in a smallish community is frustrating sometimes. (thank god for the net) Anyway the paper really left me feeling pissed off. I have suffered with panic disorder, agoraphobia, GAD etc. since I was born. My first recollections are of anxiety though my family remembers me as a very happy outgoing child. I wanted to be on the stage. I am not a wallflower - never have been. I have worked with every therapy that has been available to me as the science/therapy re the disorders grew. I have had periods that were symtom free - brilliant times of joy and fullfillment. The idea that 'changing the way one thinks' - 'changing one's interior language' is what is required to cope/cure a condition that I really think is chemically underwritten is patently cruel. It smacks of blaming the victim - if I would just practice more positive thoughts about myself, blah blah blah. Don't they know that we do everything possible to get and keep ourselves on track? My god the careers that are maintained, the families that are organized and loved, the successes that are achieved by people like us. I think we all deserve medals of achievement. In fact if you recall the Psychoanalyst, R.D. Laing, brilliant; he said (paraphrased by me) that the tortured souls who have embarked on internal journeys of mental illness and anguish must perforce be honoured with Gold Medals upon their return'.

Having this disorder is NOT MY FAULT. I now reject all feelings of blame and shame. I also want to see the biological/chemical aspect recognized as the major component and at the risk of sounding radical - how great it would be if drugs such as MDMA and others would figure into the research and be legalized and made available to us. I don't seek bliss, at least not constantly, I just want to live untormented.


PS I am just starting a titrate of Klonopin. I am at .125 per day. I must go very slow as I drive a city bus and must stay together.




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