Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Lithium, Day 13

Posted by Noa on December 15, 1999, at 21:08:04

In reply to Hi Noa..., posted by Janice on December 15, 1999, at 20:49:42

Hi. Saw my pdoc this evening. He thinks my true level is probably around .4 because I got a .5 on blood drawn about two hours after taking a 300 mg. capsule. In any event, he is recommending staying at this level another week to give it a fair amount of time to have an effect. If no major improvement, increase from 900 mg to 1200 mg. and get levels about 5 days later.

I noticed a bit more improvement today. I am just so impatient. And intolerant of any worsening mood, even though I know there is going to be some fluctuation. When I feel worse, I feel panicky about a repeat of the recent severe bouts. After the bout this past summer, when I was seriously suicidal, I am afraid of my depression in a big way. Wanting to improve fast is like wanting to speed away from danger. So I have set up this expectation that lithium is my getaway car. I know I need to be more realistic, but the fear of becoming severely depressed again is so powerful. I feel like I am running out of the fuel it takes to deal with these episodes. I feel like a cat who has used all of its lives.




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