Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Morose, to answer your questions...(long)

Posted by siri on December 13, 1999, at 23:10:51

In reply to Re: apology for the previous apology, posted by Morose on December 13, 1999, at 17:04:03

I'm finally getting back to this. I, too, was a little taken aback by what I perhaps wrongly perceived to be a condescending tone to your questions. I apologize for misjudging you. I enjoy conversation and debate, but I don't like feeling interrogated. So I will simply answer in my own way.
I don't care to socialize with my therapist, or consider her a buddy. That said, I love her dearly. She has helped me get through some hellish times. She has always been warm, loving, accepting, non-judgemental, humorous and gentle.
When my car breaks down, I take it to the best mechanic I can find. I don't have to be buddies with him, or share books with him in order to have him do good work on my car.
I don't want to be buddies with my therapist and share in her personal life. She helps me in a way that no one else does. I can be buddies with anybody-but I don't choose to be buddies with her. I do not want to blur our boundaries and bring distractions into our relationship. And it is a GOOD relationship! Just not the same kind of relationship I have with my friends. I don't choose to have the same kind of relationship with other men that I have with my husband. No one would expect me to! Why should I have to have an outside friendship with my therapist?
And I am proud to introduce her to people as my therapist. I am not ashamed of our relationship at all.
I do not see a psychiatrist. I personally don't believe in the Freudian philosophy, and I don't like the inequal balance of power in many therapeutic relationships. I do not agree with the Freudians that the "Royal Road" to the "Unconscious" is through dreams.
I prefer the methods and philosophy of Hakomi. If you went to the URL I posted you may have gotten a small taste of how Hakomi differs from classical analysis. I have found a lot of truth in the Hakomi experience that the "unconscious" speaks through the body.
Have you ever gotten a tightness in your gut, or felt your jaw clench or your feet get the jitters? Have you ever seen someone say something very happy but their face is very sad? Sometimes the body has a wisdom that is far deeper than the intellect. It's like the 90% of the iceberg that is under water. By accessing the body in the present moment, discovering its' language and observing without judgement, which means without preconceived notions of what must be changed or "fixed", a great wealth of knowlege can be tapped within. I don't mean bodywork or massage- it's not like that. It's studying the whole self, not just intellectualizing and talking on an intellectual level. It is very hard to understand feelings by simply theorizing about why one feels such a way. I have found Hakomi to be a more elegant and efficient method to discover what is going on inside. It was very helpful, for example, helping me to heal from childhood abuse as well as cancer. I was able to use Hakomi methods to engage my killer cells and fight the cancer. You don't have to believe me- I know what I experienced.
The role of a Hakomi therapist is to make things as safe as possible within the therapeutic relationship, so as a client I can feel comfortable going inside and discovering my own answers. Sometimes the past comes up, sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's about discovering my inner strength and joy. My therapist simply supports whatever comes up, because she trusts me and has absolute respect for me and my own healing process. She has a lot of methods she uses to help me explore and evoke present experience. We don't theorize and talk on an intellectual level about my past. It is a very different methodolgy to typical analysis- like comparing apples and elephants.
If I cut my hand, it heals without my knowing how. If my psyche is wounded, it knows how to heal, if I only learn to listen within. My therapist helps me to listen, but she does not project her own agenda on me.
I believe that mind and body and spirit are not separate entities, and for me at least, I do best when I integrate all these parts of myself.
I hope I have been clear enough. I don't know how to explain any more clearly. And if you disagree, that's fine. I don't feel it necessary to argue about who is right and who is wrong- i just like this school of therapy for myself, but if others like other methods, fine. Whatever works.
Be well,

> This is really a very attenuated point, and a clunky anti-climax to the sentiment that perhaps I am not an asshole, but I did not mean to whine about anybody's criticism. I like conversation as a contact sport. I pulled my horns in a bit because some people on this board are, shall we say, a bit sensitive, and I do not want to aggravate anybody's problems.
> Regards,
> Morose




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