Posted by Jon VF on November 17, 1999, at 0:26:37
Hi ya'll,
I'm an 18 year old college student that has been taking
Ritalin for about a year and a half. I actually found this
forum after doing a search on the drug Adderol because I'm
unhappy with Ritalin.
I guess I have to go into a little bit of background to describe Ritalin,
because for me its the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Up until Sophomore year in High School I had been getting into
incredible amounts of trouble and never been able to do well in school.
My parents couldn't figure it out because I was a good guy
at home and scored really well on intelligence tests.
When I was about to get kicked out of school for an accumulative
amount of minor, non-malicious behavior violations my parents had enough.
Anyway, I was tested for ADD, and of course, I had it and was
put on Ritalin.
It was incredible, for the first time in my life I could focus all
of my brain and saw things differently. I'd always gotten
by in school from my ability to B.S. but now I was actually learning.
I actually enjoyed doing work, I really loved working and solving things. I
ended up making all A's in Advanced Placement courses my
senior year. Without this last year I wouldn't be at USC.
At the same time, I turned into an extrovert. I've always been
the class clown but only out of impulsivity. Deep down, I've always
been self-conscious but Ritalin made me analyze my interactions with
people so much that I become anxious. I started avoiding
all social interactions and when coming down off of it I would
go through extreme apathy and depression. I never got in
trouble, but for the first time ever I started skipping class
just to avoid people. I'm actually having trouble explaining
just how profound an affect Ritalin has on my emotional state with words
but I'm hoping others will identify.
Before Ritalin I was a happy person with very little depression,
especially for my age. Then, my senior year, I was just not
happy at all. But, I also crave how much more aware and focused
I feel with Ritalin. Now, even thats going away. I, like many others
have grown a tolerance and take excessive amounts in order to
keep myself in that state of mind. Even when doing
that it doesn't work, only I still get very apprehensive
when I take it.
Maybe pharmaceuticals are an artifical answer to a real problem and
I should just try to work things out within myself. But, I've tried
to do focus without Ritalin and it is nearly impossible.
If I stop taking Ritalin, I'll probably fail college. Even
now I'm doing much worse because of the tolerance I'm growing.
If I keep on taking it, I'll stay depressed.
I took a friends Adderol the other day and experienced the
same stimulating affect but without the side-effects. I was
also taking Ritalin with it though. At first, I thought
Adderol was the solution. But, after looking back my experience,
I realized that Adderol probably didn't help my focus as much
as it just felt good.
I'd like to hear ya'lls comments on Adderol and it's affectiveness
because I've never taken without Ritalin. I realize that my
methods in trying Adderol and semi-abusing Ritalin are not the right
way, but hopefully you'll look past that and help me out and find a solution.
Thanks
Jon
p.s. I also tried Wellbutrin but didn't notice anything.
poster:Jon VF
thread:15347
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/15347.html