Posted by Noa on November 11, 1999, at 12:40:15
In reply to the (evil baby factory) twin chimes in, posted by Bob on November 10, 1999, at 5:28:48
Sorry I have been fading into the woodwork the past few days. I am feeling much better. The legal stuff has calmed a bit--I made the decision I needed to make, and although I have little control over what will happen next, I doubt anything will happen fast, so there is time to not have to think about it so much. At work, I cried to two colleagues and got support about how overwhelmed I am, and that helped a lot. I then stayed late last night and cleaned and organized my office--filed papers, threw papers out, caught up on notes, prioritized some stuff. It felt really good to have that done. My therapist offered an extra session on Tuesday which was "just what the doctor ordered". Recovering this quickly from that mood I was in makes me realize my medications are working at least somewhat.
What scares me is how quickly I transition from my dysthymic baseline to a more severe depression. One would think I would have to pass through a moderate zone, but it is as though my brain has paved its own short-cuts, superhighways that go directly to despair. Like neural HOV lanes that can bypass traffic and interchanges. The encouraging thing right now about the medication is that it seems to help me use support to turn the car around and head away from the dreaded destination. In the summer, when I first added the serzone and then increased the effexor, the turn around was painstakingly slow. More like a multiple point turn in severe ice and snow than a u-turn. I am surprised and, of course, very pleased that I am able to feel this much better after being so incredibly depressed just a few days ago. An indication to me that maybe the meds are on the right track.
poster:Noa
thread:14839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/15009.html