Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Unconventional reaction to drugs.Opposite to norm

Posted by Diane on October 19, 1999, at 15:28:26

If you can put aside your initial reaction, and keep your mind open, I'd like some input/
help on a problem that frustrates me.
Question: Can some body please tell me why methadone(wait!,don't tune me out yet!)
WAKES me up, alleviates my depression (like having a type A mind in a type B body),
where as stimulants make me tired, extremely depressed, irritable, unfocused and
hinders my breathing.

a little back ground:
I have been "depressed" sense age 11, or at least that's when suddenly:
Had no interest in school, friends, play etc. Emotions started to flatline.
Could not concentrate, retain or focus.
I became a lonely loner, etc. etc. on down the line.
I have always felt doubt, fear, insecure, worthless, hopeless, incapable, gutless
unmotivated. Always lacked drive, ambition, assertiveness.
Lacked what ever IT is to succeed and be normal. Lots of guilt. Lots of shame.
I have always felt undeserving, ashamed of myself. Inferior to all others. Helpless.
NO MANIA HERE. Except for recently acquired anger. Strictly unipolar.Chronic

I have always been this way, UNTIL METHADONE! Then boom! I was ALIVE.
I had ambition! I had the "I can do it attitude"
For the first time in my life I wasn't depressed and all the above.
For the first time in my life I got a job. A career. I became a union floor covering
installer. Local 1235 outta San Francisco. One of 2 women in the trade! I was
finally rolling at age 31!
And nobody ever knew I was on Methadone.
Methadone is a slow release, long acting (26hr) drug. There is no "rush", as with
heroin. In my experience it's a simple, uncomplicated, risk free drug.
So it's addictive, so what? I'd rather be addicted and enabled than depressed and
disabled. I mean we are never really talking "Cure" when it comes to depression but a
easing of symptoms, right? STOP! Sorry, I got detoured.

Then unfortunately I had to give up methadone/career. I now live a 100 mile drive
from the nearest clinic. I live in Sweet Home, OR. and I am stuck here. I don't have a
car and there are no busses. *I do have a computer tho and I do have a GP.

SO I am searching for alternatives. Alternatives similar to methadone or alternative
ways to acquire methadone outside of the clinic setting, exceptions to the rules etc.
(fat chance, I know but I figured I might as well ask sense I'm going this far out on a
limb, risking being ostracized :o)). And I am not talking Heroin abuse here. I've been
clean sense 1985. Been off methadone sense 1992.
Methadone is the only thing that has worked for my depression. Just my luck, the
one thing that works bang on...I can't get simply thru normal channels.

So I am back to "all the above" depression.
More ??: Is there a legal alternative?, anything similar? (Buprenorphine is for
abuse only as well) Does anybody have ANY knowledge on the subject?
Or know where/whom I could ask?
Is there anything on the horizon? Research being done?
Substance P? Mu-1? BL-2401? Endorphins? Enkephalin? Dynorphin?

"Mu-receptors are found mainly in the brainstem and the medial thalamus. They have
two sub-types: mu-1 and mu-2. Stimulation of the mu-1 receptors is primarily
responsible for an extraordinary sense of euphoria, serenity and analgesia.
Unfortunately, there is still a lack of clinically available opioids specific to the mu-1
receptors. Their advent will be an tremendous boon to mental and physical health."
That came from
BUT how long ago that was written I don't know.

A drug is a drug is a drug as far as I'm concerned. What's good for you might be bad
for long as you are not hurting any one your life.
Utilitarianism. I'd like to live before I die.

Thank you and excuse the length. It won't happen again, I hope :o)




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