Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: Been there, done that, have the t-shirt...

Posted by Racer on August 9, 1999, at 12:39:10

In reply to Re: Been there, done that, have the t-shirt..., posted by Rob (~anyomous~) on August 8, 1999, at 23:59:17

Oh, Rob, you have no idea! I look back now, and only wish that I'd done something sooner with my life. You can change your life any time you decide to. There was a jazz singer about 40 years ago, dying of a heroin addiction, who held on and refused to die until she kicked. She said that she didn't want to die until she was clean, and she didn't. If she could do it so close to death, surely we can fix ourselves now?

Listen, Rob, I'll tell you something. When I went through my big therapy, which went on for several years, it really was painful. I can't and won't lie to you. Several times, after my Friday evening appointment, I went home and cried most of the weekend because I was talking about and almost reliving some of the most painful parts of my life. That's what it takes to heal. It is not unbearable, though, and there is a catharsis involved. It's like a wound that is healing badly: you have to open the wound again to allow it to heal properly. That's painful, but it feels better very quickly, because now it can heal.

I'll tell you a secret: you can't possibly be as awful as I knew I was. I knew that I didn't deserve to live, I certainly didn't deserve to feel better, because I was so very bad and evil. Really, I was one of the very worst people on earth! You can't possibly beat that! I wanted help, I wanted to feel better, but I knew I didn't deserve it. You know what, though? I got myself that help, and now I can safely and honestly say that I did deserve it, and more. I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm still someone I can look in the eye in the mirror every morning and be proud of.

Please keep us posted as you make the journey seeking the person inside you that you'll be proud of. Please let me know that you're doing something to help yourself. The drugs will make the world seem much worse, I know, and it really is painful to try to get off them. Let us help you every way we can here on this board, and let me know if there's anything else I can tell you to help you through this time. You can't do it all alone, but at least there's this board where we can exchange ideas and experiences.

Best luck to you, and all the strength I can send you.




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