Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: Success stories????

Posted by Racer on July 30, 1999, at 11:30:59

In reply to Success stories????, posted by DJ on July 30, 1999, at 10:16:32

I'm still in the middle of my drama, but I'm feeling much better now. The drugs are taking away the horrors of the depression, and allowing me to be the person I can admire and respect again.

This week has been full to overflowing with drama: I almost had to fire an employee, but managed to do all the right things in terms of writing up his behavior, talking to him about it, having him sign off on the written warning, etc. Unfortunately, rather than fixing his behavior, which is what I hoped for, he then missed two days of work without calling and then came in and quit. Still, I did the things I needed to in order to face myself in the mirror each day. So, I feel good.

My auxilliary father had a major stroke, and needs constant care which he isn't getting. I'm stressed by it, but I'm hanging in there and doing what I can, when I can, and it's realistic, rather than trying to fix the world.

This week, an old friend was in town. For years, I was in love with him, and would have done anything to make him want me. We had dinner Wednesday night, and we had a nice time, nice talk, better companionship than we'd ever had. No tension at all. These days, I'm almost desperate, wanting someone to hold me and love me and comfort me. Well, after dinner, a walk around town, and a few drinks, we got into his car, and he pounced on me. I pushed him away. He pounced again. I pushed him away and pulled his hand out of my shirt. I told him why I was pushing him away, that I was too vulnerable to play, and he was only offering play - with nothing in it for me. That's a major improvement in my life, being able to resist him. And I'm happy to say that I wasn't tempted at all. I couldn't forsee any pleasure with him. (Mind you, my libido is just fine now. That wasn't depression)

I've gotten up every day this week, gotten dressed, left the house. I've carried on much of a normal day's work. I haven't cried. I haven't made plans for any future beyond the end of the week, but it's still a major improvement.

So, there's your first success story.

(And in the past, a period of anti-depressants has always been followed for me by a few years of not needing anything at all. Usually about a five year hiatus each time, but long enough to learn new things about coping without drugs.)




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