Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: ...And wanting to conversate

Posted by Sean on July 14, 1999, at 11:36:46

In reply to ...And wanting to conversate , posted by Leonora on July 14, 1999, at 6:08:12

> > > Agreed Sean this thread (and site) is wonderful. Here's my problem, small albeit to those I have when I'm down. I have the heightened sensitivity thing going on when my brain chemistry is working, and I desperately want to share these observations in conversation with people, but alas who? Those around me either don't get it or worse think it's time to call the doc because I'm going into a manic phase. A few years back I had serontonin syndrome diagnosed as Bipolar disorder, so whenever I'm anything but depressed, my family starts to worry. Now ain't that a bitch? I, however, do remember that the "up" me was exactly how I was in college and early 20's before my first major episode of depression hit. Anyone else have similar experiences? How to cope? Should we start some kind of new support thread?
> >

It might be cool to start a thread on support. We
can talk all we want to the p-docs, but there is
an existential, "in the trenches" sort of relating
that I can only get here.

Sometime I think about the way I internalize and
represent my own feelings/symptomology to myself.
This happens in a very strange "place" which is
itself subject to the ravages of the disorder, and
yet the beachhead of self-knowledge I've managed
to create (and this is where therapy is king...) is
sometimes the only thing between me and the infinite
fall or flight to fantasy. Despite all the wasted
money, drugs, embarassing acts, I'm not at all
sure I can say was "someone else" doing them, or
blame my neurons in the abstract somehow.

In the bipolar context, this could be seen as the
idealized euthymic self I suppose, a self which
governs and serves the emotions when needed. Of
course what you never really read about is how
"natural" it feels to experience extreme emotions.
It is a constant source of amazement to me that
most people jsut don't go into these places. And
I know now that what appears to be some sort of
cosmic punishment is really depression, and what
appears to be "religious clarity" is the start of

Or is it?

Green toothbrushes forever.





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