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Re: Coming to terms with manic depression

Posted by Misha on June 25, 1999, at 17:28:16

In reply to Re: Coming to terms with mainc depression, posted by Ellen BRodie on June 13, 1999, at 7:00:12

> > Dear Cynthia,
> Thanks for the warm response. It sounds like we are on the same page. I am jsut now starting to learn about my triggers. It's the damn anxiety that has me at such a hold right now. Klonopin is about the only thing that seems to work for me. They have just started me on neurtotin but it is still to soon to tell. I sometimes have my doubts about all this medication shit. I don't know if I feel worse know or before I started on meds. Your right though, it is a never ending battle, I read all the time, knowledge about this illness is power over the illness. Thats how I see it. If I can over power it than I will beat it some day. My wost times are at night. I seem to drop pretty bad at night. Can't seem to figure that out. real bad depressive episodes towards the end of the day. I'll go through these short burst of energy and than bam I fall. Someimes I feel like it is the medication that is inducing it, because I have never experience this before. Convincing my doctor of this is probably a waste of my time. I have been on topamax which I have been lowering my dosage of becasue I am certain that has been a contributor. I have read enough about the drug to know that it increases anxiety. I will give the neurontin time . Anyway, once again thanks for your response. It's comforting knowing I am not the only one out there going at this alone. Ellen

It's so nice to find people who are working for the same thing you are - simply finding what works to get to the other side of this tunnel. My manic-depression has been lurking in the corners since I was a teen, but it didn't get diagnosed until I turned 28, about 2 years ago, when I began experiencing almost daily spikes and valleys. I've been on 750 mg Depakote daily ever since. My psydoc warned me that the first two weeks going on it would be sheer hell and that I should NEVER be by myself. If he hadn't warned me, I would be dead. But now, as long as I police myself, I'm on the road to getting off this stuff within the next year - hopefully. Just like Cynthia, I watch my diet, my sleep, the amount of light, and also how much work I do, and when I do it. Yeah, we're like canaries in coal mines, and it sucks. We are some of the most creative people on the planet, though - I'm convinced.

So I firmly believe in rewarding ourselves - spend the money on a massage therapist, or some sort of incredible treat that you would love to do - and do it, every two weeks or so.

I also think that the only reason this is becoming manageable is that I am pushing myself to confide in my friends and create an all-important network. - Misha




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