Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: feelings

Posted by Toby on June 16, 1999, at 10:36:22

In reply to EMDR for Toby-help?, posted by DL on June 11, 1999, at 17:48:59

> I am finding it easier to go with the flow in EMDR.
> It is so hard for me to focus on feelings. They all just seem to feel like tension and numbness and pins and needles or something like that. I am getting a little crazy about this. I want to feel more but I don't know how. But I will try this--to focus on what I do feel.

When I say 'focus on what you feel' I am not really talking about "emotions" I am talking about the physical sensations that you are describing above. Those physical sensations are exactly what you need to notice and then let your mind go where it needs to go to make the connections that will find the source of those physical sensations and resolve them.

> I am getting alittle scared that this will never happen for me.

That's a normal fear. Please go back and look at your last two posts. Although there is still much to work on, there are signs that things are flowing along, that it's easier to go with the flow, that things are coming up that have been buried, and that the chaotic feelings are abating more quickly. All of those things show movement. And look how soon they have occurred after starting this whole thing. Just a few weeks. We know EMDR works fast, and because it does, sometimes we feel it should be even faster (like instantaneous) but it is still a process and your body and mind have to have a little time to integrate all the processed stuff and make sense of it. So don't think you are too slow or aren't doing it right or anything. Everybody goes at their own pace. (Actually, as I read further on down, I see this is similar to what you therapist said, so I will leave it there to remind you)

> Please try not to wonder about how or why I ask or observe certain things (that's my job and my
> training). the more important thing is to figure out how you can begin to be more aware of it for yourself. That is the work of everyone in therapy
> actually. At least, that is my opinion. so, remember this is a process and not a final end project. What you hope to do in therapy is to learn how to focus on your own body messages and needs in a way that is helpful for you, without harming others.

> You are right. This is hard. How do I stop feeling so wound up?

Did she do an exercise with you called the "Safe Place"? If so, go there when you need to relax and unwind. Really GO there in your mind. Hear the sounds, smell the smells, see the light and the environment and the details, feel the air and surfaces and the temperature, EXPERIENCE it all, breathe slowly (in for 4 counts, out for 4 counts) and where you feel tenseness in your body, concentrate on it and make it purposefully relax then go back to experiencing the safe place.

> And, did I kill too much of myself over the years to be able to really feel again and learn from my feeligs?

Well, the answer to that is NO!! You continue to have lots of feelings, you just ignore and deny the good ones and embrace the bad ones because that has been the only safe way to do it. Those feelings are still around, you just now have to learn to access them again and it is indeed possible to do that.




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