Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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RE: EMDR--therapy--for TOBY

Posted by DL on April 14, 1999, at 18:21:56

In reply to Re: EMDR--therapy, posted by Toby on April 14, 1999, at 12:50:59

>> If these are some of the worst memories you have, and since they are from childhood (EMDR therapists like to go as far back as possible because we want to get at the initial knot in the thread) these may be good ones to start with.

There is one memory that is always close at hand. I think the scene happened a number of times but I'm not sure how many. I have a still photo in my mind and thinking of it brings tears to my mind. ANd I think it is one of those knots you speak of.

When I was young--probably around kindergarten age--my father would threaten me with sending me to the "bad girls home". Indeed I knew there was one because when we were out in the car and drove past it he would always point it out. This usually happened after one of those sessions when I did not finish everything on my plate at dinner. He would get so angry that he would come stand over me and force food into my mouth and sometimes push it down my throat. I can't connect with those feelings for some reason. But I vividly connect with the above threat. I remember standing in front of the dining room window with my head hung down and he was calmly telling me to go upstairs and pick only one of my 2 dolls, because I could only take one to the bad girls home. He left me up there and the hours were indeterminable. I believed him totally. I think part of me inside died then. For some reason this was so much worse than the spankings or yelling. I knew I would just never be a "good girl" like the one he wanted because I had tried for so long already and I just wasn't good enough to keep. He never did actually leave me there, but I lived in fear of this. All of my life it seems I was terrified of him and could never let him see beneath the surface. I acted the part of the perfect child as best I could.

How's that for a place to start?

That should kick up some interesting dreams! I have a conference tomorrow and Fri in MA. That's why she scheduled for next week.. She said it would be better not to have to get up and go to a conference the next day. But, some of the people at work have invited me out that night to celebrate a birthday. I am undecided as to what to do. ????? THey will probably go out somewhere to talk, relax and have a drink. I drink very little--occasional glass of wine. Comments?

> I'm excited for you. I think you will like the feelings you get after the session. You can let us know how it went that same day, but you won't "believe" it's really done until probably Monday or so. Never mind, you will see what I mean. Take care.

It's been a long stretch hasn't it? You leaned over and helped pull me back off that cliff almost 9 months ago--Thank you so much.




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