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Re: depressed about being depressed

Posted by SJ on May 21, 1999, at 3:13:31

In reply to depressed about being depressed, posted by Jeff on May 20, 1999, at 23:40:19


You remind me of someone.....

Effexor horror stories? I've noticed that nearly all of the antidepressants have received bad press in one form or another here--maybe it has something to do with everyone responding differently. I had fairly good luck with Effexor, but Wellbutrin was a disaster for me. Because of my (irrational?) suspician that Effexor has contributed to weight gain, I'm supposed to be tapering off in order to try the next one: Celexa. I'm not so sure. By far, the best med I've tried so far is Neurontin, for mood swings. But I still get mood swings--they're just not so morbid and suicidal (oddly, I wish they were sometimes--?) So, what to do? I haven't heard much about Serzone, except that it maybe has a lower incidence of sexual side effects, like the Wellbutrin (they ALL say that....).

I sympathize with your situation involving dating. In fact, it's practically giving me an anxiety attack just thinking of what to say! I think that what I would do is refrain from mentioning it unless I was serious about the relationship. I would not mention it to anybody I knew casually (the social stigma is definately there). You've already anticipated the best advice anyone could give you: a woman who would choose to think less of you because you take antidepressant medication isn't worth your time. It *is* true. Still, I know that this statement is one that you know on an intellectual level, but it's not something you (or I) can ever accept on an emotional level (sigh...). I do believe that there is nothing wrong in wittholding this information about yourself until an appropriate time. It's not like it's a contagious disease.

Wouldn't it be difficult to get to that point in a relationship without the woman noticing that you were depressed? I don't think that I could conceal that there was something up with me for a sustained length of time.

As for whether you should seek out other depressed women--uh, I want to say YES!, but I think that perhaps a romantic relationship isn't well served by having TWO depressed people anxious about each other all the time. I could be wrong, and I know that I wouldn't follow any advice whatsoever when it came to ROMANCE! One advantage, though, to dating a depressed person is that you'd have someone with whom you could relate to in a way you just can't with others (at least that's true for me). This could be very helpful to you, especially now. Just maybe not for the long term picture.

How do you go about deliberately trying to find a depressed woman to strike up a romance with, anyway? Do you already know some likely candidates? Come to think of it, I'm aware of depressed women all over the place.

Incidentally, my husband would still marry me, even after all I've put him through (and I've even told him he SHOULD divorce me!).

I wish the best for you, Jeff. I hope that, even though I'm not part of the dating scene, I was able to offer you some sort of useful advice. Maybe others here have actual dating experience on which to base their advice....




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