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Re: Anxiety vs Dissociation - Elizabeth

Posted by Craig on April 16, 1999, at 2:39:18

In reply to Re: Anxiety vs Dissociation - Craig, posted by Elizabeth on April 15, 1999, at 7:55:33

I found a glossary describing various dissociative disorders at that helps to compare and contrast depersonalization with Dissociative Identity Disorder. In my case, I met the diagnostic criteria for DID.

I asked my former psychiatrist how could it be possible to live in a trance-like state, since when I fall asleep the trance seemingly should be broken. He said that I've been dissociating for so many years (since age 4) that I automatically put myself back in trance as soon as I wake up. If I could tell you how I do it I would, but it's still a mystery to me.

I've had several EEGs and while I was told that they are "abnormal" the neurologist didn't specify this other than to say there was disorganization in part of my brain. They prescribed Mysoline on the chance that I might have complex partial seizures, but that medication had no effect on my dissociating and was eventually discontinued. In the distant past, psychiatrists wanted to believe that I was having psychotic episodes and put me on trials of Thorazine, Mellaril, Haldol and Trilafon - which were horrible and INCREASED dissociation. Recently, I've tried Risperdal and Zyprexa, which haven't been effective on it either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been there, done that and nothing has helped. I've had numerous doctors give up on me and the last time really left big scars. Maybe I was put on this earth to suffer....I don't know, but I'm out of answers. I've finally stopped beating my head against the proverbial wall and just learned to live with this the best I can. I used to wonder what I would have been like if I hadn't gotten this illness. At least I can't miss something I never had to begin with.




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