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Re: Response to Dr. Bob

Posted by Janice on January 18, 1999, at 6:03:58

In reply to Answering questions, posted by Dr. Bob on January 17, 1999, at 2:04:20

> > > > So, Toby, will you settle this for us or not?
> > > Regrettably, no.
> > Why the mystery? Why should this be a
> > secret? Your unwillingness to answer the
> > question, your lack of forthrightness and
> > honesty, should raise a few flags in some
> > people's mind, as it does in mine.
> One thing about this online world, there aren't pat answers here.
> It's natural to want it to conform to the "real" world, in which it would be clear what gender we were. Usually, anyway. :-)
> The National Board for Certified Counselors was one of the first groups to propose standards for "web counseling". Their current version is at:
> Under item 7, they do say that:
> >WebCounselors may wish to ensure that, minimally, the
> >WebClient has the same data available about his/her service
> >provider as would be available if the counseling were to take place
> >face to face (i.e., possibly ethnicity, gender, etc.). Compelling
> >reasons for limiting disclosure should be presented.
> I'd like to point out, however, that they probably wouldn't consider exchanges here to be "web counseling". But still.
> OTOH, does this in fact need to be like the "real" world? The ability to be genderless is certainly one of the attractions of the Internet.
> I don't know.
> Some people will be more comfortable with an ambiguous person than others. If you're not comfortable not knowing more about someone, then you might not want to listen to them. Caveat emptor, as they say.
> I do think professional qualifications, however, are relevant. I was disappointed that no one responded to my post a long time ago on this. It's not too late :-) it's still at:
> Bob

Well, Dr. Bob:

I dunno, it's your web page, and if you are
happy with this ambiguousness, then... ???
I've read your
arguments; yet, there is something deep
inside that tells me this ambiguousness is
not right. That's just the way I feel.
You could tell me 2 + 2 = 9, but.....

How can you address someone with a
question when you don't know their area of

No, the internet is not the real world,
but if it is going to thrive, people need to
be honest with each other. If you can't
believe what you read, why take the time
to read it? This nameless, faceless environ-
ment is an excellent opportunity for some to
play games, mislead others.

I'm not accusing Toby of anything, nor am I
trying to drive Toby away. When I posted
the previous post, I had woke up kind of
cranky, so I want to apologize for the tone
of it. Also, I tend to exaggerate, and
frequently say things in an joking,
half-serious way. Also, when I go off
meds, there is a period where I feel
as if I'm being mocked by the world,
that is, almost every bad (or perceived
as bad) look, word, or deed that has
occured in my lifetime is remembered.
And last but not least, I have been
living in and tolerating a somewhat abusive
relationship, for sometime -- I guess this
was my chance to speakup without fear of
too much retribution. (I don't like the
way Brain treats Pinky, either, but that's
a whole nother story)

I guess I've alienated Toby; he/she will
probably never answer any of my future
questions :(

But, at least, I did get a response from
you :) ...finally. Ahhh, relief. I was
expecting negative feedback, but you were
moderate. I probably would of told me to
'get bent', which you may have done if so
many eyes weren't watching. And in the
real world, I probably would have been
told to get bent (at least by some people.)

In closing, what I said previously was
just my opinion, sorry for being

Take care.




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