Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Toby, thanks and...

Posted by racer on December 29, 1998, at 14:56:14

In reply to Re: can you suggest? , posted by Toby on December 28, 1998, at 9:36:56

I talked to a nurse at the county mental health office yesterday. I'd like to tell you about it (as well as everyone else here).

When I posted here before about the lousy care that I felt I was getting, I knew that the docs were at least considering that it might be my perception rather than truth, and wondering whether that was really the case made me doubt my abilities even more. The nurse helped put that to sleep for me. She said that she heard what I was saying and couldn't agree or disagree because of professional conduct rules, but she did hear what I had to say and she has a plan to help me. Of course, it helped just to know that the care I was getting really wasn't adequate. (The doctor tends to say things like, "the drugs are working fine, you're just not responding appropriately." Just absolutely cutting me off.) THe nurse is going to present my case to the adult team, and they'll explore options for changes in my medications and any other services that they can find for me. Already she's given me the name and number for the local vocational rehab counselor, and is helping me to look into social security disability. It's really hard for me, because I can't bear to think that I'm so "mentally ill" that I can't work, makes me feel as though I really ought to be out on the streets, digging through the trash, but I'm working on that so that I can avoid that option. Really, with a choice between homelessness and suicide, I'd pick the latter hands down.

I guess the part of this that really helps is that the doors are opening again for me. That one nurse, without really having to do anything excessive, has helped me more than all these months of that doctor. I don't feel so rotten, because the nurse agreed that what I perceive as problems really are problems. The doctor was telling me all this time that my sleep patterns seemed normal, and the nurse was appalled when I told her the same things I was telling the doctor. The nurse said that the presentation team will look at adding another drug to the serzone that may help with the sleep. Helping with the sleep, I think, will help with the eating, too. Right now, I ate dinner last night, and lunch today, but I hadn't eaten since Friday before that. It's too hard to talk about that with anyone, and after the response I was getting from the doctor I didn't even try to tell her about that. (BTW, that's typical of depression for me, not typical of anorexic periods for me: in an anorexic phase, I'm more likely to eat five meals a day, but only about 50 calories per meal.) Anyway, now I'm getting some help from the county, and someone is stepping in to watch and help me get the help I need.

I still think that the doctor I'm seeing should be beaten and made to receive the same sort of care that she gives, but I also recognize that she is not withholding her best from me: she is just not capable of giving better care. She would probably be fine for someone who does not want to be involved in their own care, but I need the information and I need to be involved.

Thanks for all of the help I've gotten here, and thanks just for reading what I've had to say.




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