Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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another one for toby

Posted by sue on October 13, 1998, at 12:46:47

Okay, here is the story.
I was started on SSRIs 3 years ago w/ no real diagnosis.
I am by nature a very high achiever and began having
problems w/ depressed mood in high school. I can't
really say that I ever hit a real major "depression", i have
always functioned fine, but basically struggle w/ a
chronic, negative, annoying voice in my head, the repetitive
tape of negativity. Also seem to have some social
anxiety issues, feeling acutely self-conscious in
groups etc.
Three yrs ago was placed on zoloft by my family doc.
It seemed to help fairly well, i dc'd it about six
months later b/c for me the sexual side effects were
severe-complete anorgasmia. I noticed that I gradually
slipped back into my more negative, down on myself,
nervous about very minor things mode. Nine months off
of zoloft i was quite tearful, still doing everything
I had to do in daily life, sleeping fine, eating fine,
seeing friends and exercising, but just feeling BAD inside
and, having felt better on zoloft, not wanting to put
up w/ it. (plus i was single again). Started on prozac
20 mg and really had quite a dramatic response. Subtle
but dramatic at the same time. Went off of it due to
relationship and same sexual stuff, relapsed again,
went on it again w/ the same noticeable improvement,
off it again, every time due to the severe sex stuff.

Off of it now, i am back to my baseline, which is getting
by but limping along. I know my dysthmia/depression/mood
whatever you want to call it interferes w/ my relationship
with my boyfriend and i know that i feel so much better
on the prozac but the price to pay is so high.
I am seeing a psychiatrist now who put me on wellbutrin
SR 150/day and have been on that for 4 weeks and
basically really notice no effect. Although it is
exceptionally painful to discuss the sex stuff (easier
on email) he knows about the problems in the past. He
now wants to up it to 300/day and then up to 450/day.

In the past, i had a very rapid (w/in a week) response
to prozac and i just felt better. I HATE taking
meds in general and feel nervous about maxxing out
on a dosage of a drug that doesn't really seem to work
for me.

The sad thing is that I know that I can 'get by' indefinitely
without medication, but I just feel way up and down,
irritable, negative, self-conscious, nervous and a whole
host of other grim things.
What would you recommend? Is my choice really no sex
or putting up w/ this chronic stuff? It is like having
to choose between two unbearable options.
Thank you.




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