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What helped make me happy again..

Posted by janey on November 7, 1998, at 16:15:37

I just posted above about taking care of yourself,
indulging yourself, and so on.

I'm one of the unipolar gang; dysthymia and a recent
major depressive episode. My medicine was tweaked, I
did my time in day treatment/cognitive behavior therapy,
and still see my doctor to talk.

I was better, but I still wasn't happy. I hadn't been
happy in many years. I had been happy about things, had
happy events/moments, but wasn't my "old self." Turning
40 just about killed me this year -- major midlife crisis,
and it was time to take stock. I wanted so bad to be
happy again and had forgotten how and forgotten what it
felt like.

I made myself sit down and really think about this
happiness thing. When was I happy? What part of my life
was I happy? What was I doing? What do I remember from
that time? I really thought this out and sought to
remember what made me happy.

No, I'm not that innocent, carefee woman-child of my
early and mid-20s, but at 40 I have experience and now
have tools I've learned through therapy and the school
of hard knocks at my disposal. My laugh hasn't changed
and neither has my passion to learn new things or meet
new people. I'm doing things again. I'm not hiding
inside my house anymore. I'm exploring the world again
and doing activities that I once loved and still do.
I'm taking that chance again.

If I want to go to a concert and no one else in my circle
of friends want to go with me, I go by myself. Heck,
I even got to meet Lyle Lovett last week because I went
to the concert by myself and found the stage door and
waited. I'm creating new good memories for me.

It has taken a lot of soul searching to get to this point,
but it's been worth it. So please don't give up on
being happy and "normal,"; it really is possible.

Good luck.





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